I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
