you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
