How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize