I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
