Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize