The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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