she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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