Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
