fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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