apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
