dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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