If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize