I just cut my nipple shaving
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
