i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
