You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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