i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
