I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
