I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
