I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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