i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
