i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
