Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
