i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
