I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Randomize