They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
