you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
