So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
