Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
