I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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