ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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