That's when you crack a 10am beer
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
