Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
