kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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