I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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