I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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