So drunk its hurt
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
