First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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