she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
