i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
