You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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