Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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