this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
