Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
