Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
