Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
