he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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