I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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