My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
