Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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