Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
