official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I had to cum in my sink.
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