No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
