I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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