So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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