I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
