did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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