I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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