i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
