If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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