lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
