I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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