She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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