Betty ford says i'm here all night
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Someone shattered a urinal.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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