just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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