Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
