There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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