My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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