yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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