Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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