Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
