Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
