when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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