the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
