Umm I'm too high to move.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
