Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
