I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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