i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize