idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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