It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
